Every ending has a new beginning

Last July 8, I attended a retirement party; and like most farewell gatherings, it was filled with joy and sadness. The honouree was a gentle, kind and caring person who had helped many people, including me. There were always cakes and sweets on her desk for anyone who needed a boost on a hectic day. I often had it out of ‘gourmandise’ (greed). I miss her and her chocolates, and it’s strange not to see her grin anymore.

Everything has an ending; however, this ending has also a beginning. Today may be your last working day, but it’s also an opportunity to start something you have been wanting to do for a long time, such as going to the gym, reading a book, jogging, travelling or relaxing on a sofa or hammock, etc.

The passing of time is inevitably fast that no one is far from any ending. Most situations that herald the end of something, like retirement, retrenchment, graduation, leaving home, holiday, relationships, entertainment or sporting events, mean ‘change.’ The majority of people are anxious about changes because of fear of a possible loss, uncertainty and anxiety (though 90% of these worries don’t happen). We should consider the end of any event or situation as a change that has a silver lining even when it looks sombre.

With any change, positivism is the key. Our thoughts, emotions and feelings affect our body. While positive thoughts and emotions encourage calmness and physical activity, negative thoughts inhibit peace and efficiency. Positivism involves restructuring our perceptions and thinking process so that any problem or negative situation, such as change or end of a situation, is accepted as having benefits or as a stepping stone to something better. After all, change is the only constant in life.

Optimism is contagious. Optimistic individuals, even those who aren’t with us anymore (and aren’t related to us either by blood or ethnicity), continue to have positive effects on us. For me, these are:

Mother Teresa (1910–1997) lived a life of poverty to help improve the conditions of others; her devotion and compassion inspired many people to care for the poor, sick and needy.

Eleanor Roosevelt (1884– 1962) was an American politician, diplomat, activist and First Lady of the United States from March 1933 to April 1945. She was a supporter of the rights of women and helped draft the UN Declaration of human rights.

Nelson Mandela (1918–2013) spent 20 years in jail for his opposition to apartheid in South Africa; but upon his release, he showed forgiveness and reconciliation to his former political enemies and became the first black president in 1994. (While living in Australia in the 80s, I joined many rallies and peace marches in protest against apartheid).

Luther King (1929–1968). You surely know the “I Have a Dream” speech Mr King delivered 28 August 1963, at the Lincoln Memorial, Washington D.C. This is just one of his many philosophies and beliefs that have influenced my thinking and action. My other favourite is “Darkness can’t drive darkness; only light can do that. Hate can’t drive out hate; only love can on that. “He was, and still is, an inspiring leader of groups and movements for more equal society and for non-violent civil rights actions.

According to Ms Judy Belmont (mental health author, motivational speaker and psychotherapist), the ten essential habits of positive people are:

• They don’t confuse quitting with letting go. They don’t relinquish responsibility (i.e. quit) but let go (i.e. take action to stop and move on) of things and situations that aren’t any healthier for them or have negative influence on their lives.
• They don’t just have a good day, they make a good day.
• For them, the past stays in the past.
• They’re the most grateful people. “They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences. They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.”
• They’re energised by possibilities (opportunities) rather than stuck by their limitations.
• They don’t let fears interfere with their lives.
• They smile a lot.
• They’re great communicators.
• They believe that if they live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness. (They’re realistically optimistic)
• They don’t blame others and consider themselves as victims in life as they’re empowered (i.e. having control of and power over their lives).

Let’s stay positive..
All the best!