“Time flies” is a “based-on-a-true story” metaphor. Three months ago, I was so excited about visiting countries in three continents. My suitcase was ready three weeks before departure. I hummed and danced while boxing up little presents for my family and friends Down Under. Today, I’m back in France; where have the days gone?
July and August have vanished, but memories stay. Memories often enrich our lives and help us through difficult times. They help us better understand ourselves and the world we live in. Reflecting on these memories, we are reminded of what we treasure and then adjust our current and future choices.
There is a link between memory and emotion; e.g. focusing on positive aspects creates more healthy brain functioning and wellbeing. In other words, memories provide a sense of purpose, continuity and stability, helping us face hiccups at home and work.
Memories are not all positive. Negative ones can be disturbing. What do you do when a bad memory pops up? I go for a walk or do physical activities, socialise with family and friends, and accept that the past can’t be changed (instead, think of a silver lining).
I thank all our relatives and friends for their kindness to us during our summer holiday. They went the extra mile to spend time with us amidst their hectic schedules and our short notice. One of them Facebooked me after our get together: “The Beauty about True Friendship is no matter the distance or how long it has been since seeing each other, you can pickup where you left off “.
“Humans, not places, make memories.” – Ama Ata Aidoo (https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/memories)
For two weeks now, we’ve been driving in roads lined with eucalyptus and gum trees, which brings back happy memories of daily trips to Brisbane’s northern and western suburbs.
When I was waiting for the city train, I noticed a poster with a message I couldn’t agree more. Almost forty years ago, near this spot, there was a placard sign that said: “When you’re alone, watch your thoughts; when you’re with someone, watch your words…” I can’t remember the rest.
Before heading to Brisbane, we stopped in Melbourne, where I attended a conference in 1992. It was a cold, windy day; I detoured to a thrift shop for a woolen jacket. Unlike that time, this year’s winter is like summer in Europe.
On July 14, while my friends were celebrating Bastille (National) Day in France, I was at Melbourne’s Marvel Stadium watching a friendly football/soccer game in preparation for the 2023 FIFA Women’s World Cup jointly hosted by Australia and New Zealand, from July 20 to August 20.
In Brisbane, one of the first things I did was to visit the University of Queensland’s alumni centre.
“Connecting with others gives us a sense of inclusion, connection, interaction, safety, and community. Your vibe attracts your tribe, so if you want to attract positive and healthy relationships, be one! Staying connected and getting reconnected feeds the flow of goodness which empowers our humanity.” Susan C. Young (Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/with-connection-people).
“Volunteers do not necessarily
have the time; they just have the heart.”- Elizabeth Andrew
Some companies have volunteer programs, e.g. staff keep their salary
while spending a day or two in an NGO or charity. Large or small organisations can
benefit from supporting or encouraging their employees to involve in humanitarian
actions, as this aligned with globally-heralded Corporate Social Responsibility
(CSR) and Environment and Social Governance (ESG) policies, which seek to set
goals for and report on the company’s positive impact on our society.
Volunteering is an act of selflessness that benefits the volunteers and the people and communities they serve. It provides an opportunity for individuals to contribute to addressing social challenges and inequalities while gaining personal fulfilment.
Non-employer-sponsored
volunteers give their time, skills, and resources to others without expecting
anything in return. They embrace volunteering as a way of giving back to society
and improving our world.
Volunteering can
be done in various ways and settings, such as community centres, hospitals,
orphanages, schools, charities, and non-profit clubs and organisations that
help those in need.
On 15 April 2023, I joined a group walk at Beerenweg, Moselle, France. Five of the 12 adults (four walkers were children) are regular volunteers. Three participate in environmental projects, and two are after-school tutors. I admire them. When I’m a retiree, I’ll do more than just an annual pro-bono lecture at our local high school (Last month, it was about Australia).
On 23 March 2023, I was invited to speak at the European Parliament
Directorate-General for Personnel’s hybrid event to observe the International
Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination. The theme was “Anti-Racism
–Why words matter”.
Some of the things I said were:
Classifying individuals as
English speakers and non-English speakers is inappropriate when based only on the
language of the country they come from. They should be described as people with
a “First Language Spoken Other Than
English” and “First Language Spoken
English”. If you want to refer to their spoken English proficiency, describe
them as “Speaks English Very Well, Fluent, or Proficient, “Speaks English Well
or Conversational”, “Basiс”, or “No English Language Skill”.
“Our, Their, Us, and Them” are pronouns that should be used wisely, as
they can be polarising. They affect feelings, thoughts, and actions. Whereas,
social cohesion reduces fear and prejudice.
Race is ascribed to individuals based on physical traits; it’s not their
choice. Race is not the same as ethnicity, which the individual chooses,
encompassing everything from language to nationality, culture and traditions,
religion, and values.
Race has no coherent, fixed definition, and its myth hasn’t served
humanity well.
We use “blacklist” for something negative or prohibited. Doesn’t this
reinforce notions that black is undesirable while white is desirable? How about
using “barredlist”, “denylist”, “blockedlist”, or
“disallowedlist” instead?
Are there prejudicial and offensive words and phrases in your language?
“Gyp” or “Gip” is a short version of gypsy/gipsy- Slang for swindlers and cheaters. Dupe, rip off, take advantage, or trick
“Chop Chop!” sounds like you’re making fun of a Chinese speaking Pidgin English. Do it quickly
“Guru” – A spiritual guide or leader. In the Buddhist and Hindu traditions, “guru” commands respect and using it casually calls into question its original value.
Voodoo economics is used to describe supply-side economics (i.e. something based on unreal and impractical concepts). Voodoo is a religion practised in Haiti and parts of the Caribbean.
An immigrant is a human being; a human being cannot be illegal. Why not use “Individual/family/people with undocumented status”; or focus on the action, i.e. illegal entry?
“Alien” and “foreigner” suggest that the person does not belong to a particular place or group, i.e. a stranger or outsider. “Foreign-born people” tells you they were born in a country where they don’t currently reside.
Issues on ethnic slurs or racism in the workplace:
Is there psychological safety in the workplace?
No individual target; no one complains about it. (Someone may perceive this as such and become unproductive due to offended sensibilities).
An isolated incident may be repeated and can become a norm.
It’s only a joke/just for fun. Humour and jokes can poster or improve group cohesiveness. Laughing and smiling relieve anger, boredom, fatigue, frustration, and tension. However, when the workplace is inundated with such practices and management implicitly or explicitly condones them, making at least one employee uncomfortable, it has to stop. The bottom line is respecting the words and feelings of everyone.
Words matter!
Language is the foundation of how we understand and treat each other. Words can
make the difference between respecting and dehumanising each other.
Gatekeeping is a process of selecting and then filtering items that can be consumed within time or space. A gatekeeper is a person who controls access to something; in Facebook groups, this can be an administrator or moderator.
I’m writing this because I posted a message on our FB book club two weeks ago about a culture and immigration festival that included book exhibitions, reading novels’ first pages, etc. After the event, I contacted the administrator enquiring why it wasn’t approved. She apologised and explained that it’s pending (not disallowed) because she’s busy managing other activities and suggested emailing her directly when I have a post.
Gatekeeping has pluses and minuses. Unrelevant and offensive messages are filtered out. On the other hand, it’s toxic when it bars people from participating in a group or community or discussion based on narrow criteria or questionable reasons.
Why and how do administrators and moderators have this gatekeeping power?
Administrators appoint or remove a moderator, manage group settings (such as changing the group name or settings), approve or deny membership and participants’ requests, approve or reject posts, delete comments on posts, ban people from the group, and pin or unpin a post (i.e. positioning – e.g. move to the top of the page.)
Moderators approve or deny membership and participants’ requests, approve or deny posts, remove comments, and ban people from the group.
Do administrators and moderators own the group when they have started or created it?
How can we ensure administrators and moderators don’t use the group for their sole gain?
“The words of the tongue should have three gatekeepers: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?” – Arabian Proverb
My pending, obsolete post is history. However, the success of the festival – organised by the Comité de Liaison des Associations d’Étrangers ( CLAE) and one of Luxembourg’s most important annual events – lingers on. There were about 30,000 visitors to its 400 stands.
Last week, while fine-tuning my manuscript for publication, doubts clouded my mind. There has been a flood of articles and buzz about artificial intelligence (AI) ChatGPT, including its use for writing and content development. Is there a need for a “Clear and Concise Writing” book? Did I waste my time drafting this? Shall I spend more time getting it published?
The use of AI has advantages and flaws. It can save time and money, reduce errors and increase accuracy, hide one’s lack of competence, and enthuse laziness.
AI “ChatGPT does not have the ability to search the internet for information and rather, uses the information it learned from training data to generate a response, which leaves room for error”. – Ortiz, 2022 (https://www.zdnet.com/article/what-is-chatgpt-and-why-does-it-matter-heres-what-you-need-to-know/).
“As a language model, ChatGPT is not a traditional source that would typically be included in a bibliography. Instead, you can acknowledge the use of the model in the text and a note or a disclaimer. For example, you can add a statement like “This document was generated with the help of ChatGPT, a large language model developed by OpenAI. It’s important to note that ChatGPT is a tool, it does not conduct original research, it only provides the information it was trained on, and it’s not an author”. – ChatGPT by OpenAI accessed on 20/01/2023.
Out of curiosity, I logged in on 22/01/23. This is what it gave me: “Write an acrostic poem about the status of ChatGPT. C: ChatGPT is currently down H: Huge demand has caused the site to crash A: All users will have to wait T: Time is needed for the servers to catch up G: Go grab a coffee and check back soon P: Patience is key in this situation T: Trust that the team is working hard to fix it up”.
English physicist Stephen William Hawking (1942-2018), famous for his theories on relativity and quantum mechanics, had said: “The primitive forms of artificial intelligence we already have, have proved very useful. But I think the development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race.” (Cellan-Jones, https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-30290540. Seen on 23/01/23).
Two days ago, I received an email from one of my students that included these encouraging words: “I’ve been thinking about the question you raised earlier about whether you should publish the book or not. I hope you will, and human beings will always do. You (human authors in general) write books, and AI generates them. I don’t care how good an AI-generated book may/will be one day. I like knowing that there’s someone feeling something while writing the book that makes me feel something when reading it”.
I have subtitled my book “Self-confidence and not software -dependence”.
We have just been through the season of giving and receiving. Like most of you, I gave and received. For a change, I ordered groceries – as a present to one family member – from a company whose website promises a one-day delivery. To date, these groceries have not been delivered. Until now, they have not responded to my half a dozen emails. After three phone calls, a man answered the phone and said they wouldn’t deliver and could only refund me if I gave them a UK bank account, which I refused.
Lesson 1. Stick to a proven or reputable company. (Seek redress. I have contacted Customer Service Coventry & Visa Worldline and am waiting for their responses).
We’ve been receiving parcels from Australia for many years. For the
first time last December, we had to pay 20 euros as Value Added Tax (VAT) on a
gift that cost 100 euros. I was surprised, so I visited
https://www.douane.gouv.fr/fiche/recevoir-un-colis-envoye-par-un-particulier.
This is what I found out:
In the case of non-commercial mailings between individuals, VAT and
customs duties may be requested upon receipt of the package. These shipments
must be occasional, concern goods reserved for the personal or family use of
the recipients only and sent without payment of any kind. To benefit from
customs duties and taxes exemption, the goods’ intrinsic value (excluding
transport and insurance costs) must not exceed a certain threshold. These value
requirements also apply to gifts: No customs duties from/to the EU (VAT has
already been paid in the EU country of origin); Import from a non-EU country to
an EU country or to an overseas department (example: Canada to France) ≤ 45
euros – no customs duties and VAT (> 45 euros – customs duties and VAT are
due). Exchanges between the EU to their overseas territories “DOM” ≤
205 euros – no taxation and customs duties (> 205 euros -overseas taxes and
VAT are due).
Lesson 2. I should not have told my Aussie family not
to send us presents by post anymore, taking their joy from giving. We’re
grateful for their kindness.
On December 15, I left our end-of-year party early to be home at 10 pm.
After 15 minutes of waiting for the tram, my gut feeling told me it wasn’t
coming. I decided to walk and jog for 20 minutes (in high-heeled boots!) to
catch my bus home at 9:14 pm. I reached the bus stop, sweating at six °C, and
got on in time. I would have arrived home after midnight, instead of 10:30 pm,
if I had stayed longer at the tram station.
Lesson 3. Always react promptly to the unexpected and
changes.
“If you can’t change your fate, change your attitude.”– Amy Ruth Tan (American author of the novel “The Joy Luck Club”, which was adapted into a film of the same name).
“I call it a day; see you tomorrow”. “It’s only 5:30, Paul. Aren’t you waiting for a phone call from Ms Willers”? “She said at five; it’s 5:30.” In a soft voice, Rosie asked, “Are you a quiet quitter, Paul”?
Quiet quitting is one of the 2022 buzz phrases that have varied meanings. It can refer to doing what you are only paid for (i.e. what is stated in your job description) and not “going and beyond” in favour of work-life balance. It can include losing motivation due to work dissatisfaction. It can be a minimum performance as there’s no ambition for career advancement. It can be a strategy to get retrenched and be eligible for unemployment benefits. (In France, those who resign can only receive unemployment payments if the official employment committee approves their substantive career change plan).
Quiet quitting has attracted supporters from the proponents of better work-life balance, principally citing the prevention of burnout and mental illness. However, it can have adverse effects. It can cause disengagement and loss of pride in what you do. It can create a negative work atmosphere; imagine having colleagues who work less for the same salary as yours. Then, there’ll be a domino effect – others will practise quiet quitting too. Consequently, there’ll be less productivity, less clientele, less job, more competition, more pressure, and so on. There are occupations, such as in the medical field, when quiet quitting doesn’t work at all.
You can emotionally invest at work without sacrificing your personal life by maintaining healthy boundaries between them. There’s no need for quiet quitting. There must be open communication between company management and employees. Listening to the personnel’s views and opinions, regardless of their position in the organisation, is inclusion and respect, leading to a feeling of belongingness, loyalty, and productivity.
The opposite of quiet quitting is quiet firing. Quiet firing is when a management fashions work conditions that cause an employee to resign. These include non-invitation to staff meetings and functions, deprivation of promotion and salary increase, overloading with urgent work, and non-allocation of tasks. This is a non-confrontational approach to force employees to leave the company without disbursing severance pay. Like quiet quitting, it has its downsides; it builds a toxic work environment.
Our triumph should not be someone’s defeat or misery. However difficult the situation is, the best result is always obtained with the least conflict. Thus, we should go for a “win-win” rather than a “winner takes it all” mentality.
By the way, as promised in my previous blog, here are the things I have already prepared as Christmas presents — books, a hand-written and framed short story, and a photo album. Food hampers and fruit baskets are also on my list.
The holiday season of giving and receiving is coming, and you may wonder whether you should give presents to your supervisors and colleagues. Is there a general rule of thumb regarding workplace gift-giving? I have heard that it should be a top-down flow, i.e. from bosses to floor personnel, rather than the other way around. Giving presents to superiors depends on the circumstance. For example, staff can collect money to purchase a present for a manager who is leaving or getting married. This gift and the accompanying message should be professional in style. Is cash an acceptable gift to superiors? Of course, not, but a voucher can be justifiable. There should definitely be no gift-giving during the appraisal period or the annual performance review.
Employees can exchange gifts with each other. However, giving to receive
is a no-no. If you feel like you’re losing something by giving, you are not genuinely
giving; you’re sacrificing, which can lead to disappointments or regrets later.
Not everyone has the means to buy presents for colleagues or contribute to a
gift collection for a boss, particularly at this time of economic crisis and
insecurity. The good news is that non-material presents often last longer, and
these can be a compliment, attention, time, or patience that builds
relationships or maintains peace.
When living in Australia, my co-worker’s daughter-in-law distributed boxes of curried rice to all her colleagues, friends, and family as Christmas presents. I don’t have a signature dish, so I won’t do what she did, but I will go the extra mile to come up with something creative and valuable (I’ll tell you what in my next post).
My students have told me they are not allowed to receive presents worth more than 50 euros from external collaborators in their organisation. For gifts that cost less than 50 euros, they must share these with their colleagues.
How about doing random acts of kindness at work and elsewhere? For
instance, saying hello to a co-worker you haven’t spoken with for ages. How
about sending emails, text messages, and cards with cheerful greetings and
messages? A few months ago, my ex-students invited me to lunch. One of them said
that the birthday card I gave her more than 10 years ago is still in her drawer,
and she smiles every time she sees it.
My memorable gifts in 2020 were the five-star book reviews on Amazon that have had a positive snowball effect on me. I don’t know and have the contact details of these generous readers, so I haven’t thanked them. I hope this message reaches them (better late than never): I appreciate what you have done and wish to return your kindness one day. “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” – Winston S. Churchill.
“It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.” – Mother Teresa
Tongues wagged
when Cuban-born and Spanish-raised actress, Ana de Armas, was cast to play
Marilyn Monroe in the Netflix movie “Blonde”. According to the media, director
Andrew Dominik (a New Zealand-born Australian) admitted hesitating to give her
the role because of her accent and had only recently learnt English as a second
language.
Is accent
important in an individual’s career?
A US-based startup
Sanas has developed software that uses artificial intelligence (AI) to mimic a
person’s accent on the phone and modify this when responding through a phone or
computer microphone. Apparently, this new technology reduces abuse from native
English speakers of call centre staff who do not have their accents. Its
proponents believe it leads to better clarity and understanding and improves customer
satisfaction.
Accents are a vital part of our history and identity; they give clues about who we are and the cultural community or national group we belong to. Everyone has an accent; these different accents showcase the richness of our world and its cultures.
English is an
international language, and there are more non-native than native speakers who
use it regularly. The issue is to communicate
with others, i.e. understand and be understood, not accents.
An accent is not
the same as pronunciation. You can get a pronunciation ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, but
there’s no right or wrong accent.
My former student used to pronounce analysis “analaiz” (the correct pronunciation is “ə-na-lə-səs”). One of her sentences was: “This analaiz domontrit the importance of flexibility at work”. French native speakers do not pronounce the ending letter “s” of words in their language. The letter “e” sounds “o” (e.g. peu, which means little in English, is pronounced as “po”). They pronounce the English letter “e” as “e” only when it has a grave accent (è), as in mère (mother) and père (father).
If you
mispronounce, you can be misunderstood. However, a person can speak English
flawlessly with whatever accent. Even among native speakers, there are many
accents. Last year, our supervisor asked me if I wanted to take over a class; this
was our conversation —
S: We have a client
who is not easy to please. She wants to improve her English and have a British
accent. Do you have a British accent?” (As if he had not heard me speak before).
R: Which one?
Scottish, Irish, Welsh, London English, Liverpool English, BBC English?
S: I don’t know.
She didn’t specify. Any of these will do.
R: Ninguno de estos.
S: Perhaps you can
still take her. You’ve said that you like teaching challenging students.
R: Thanks, but I’m
afraid it’s NO. I go for learners with a half-full glass mentality and a good
sense of humour, in addition to being motivated and proud of their cultural and
linguistic heritage.
When your
pronunciation is correct, you can communicate effectively with others, whatever
your accent. In business and financial environments, airports, touristic places
and universities, people speak English as a second or third language, a lingua
franca. Thus, the goal of having a native speaker’s accent is irrelevant.
To understand our
fellow humans and communicate with them successfully, we have to come into
contact with different accents so that we can cope with the real people in the
real world.