On 8 September, I invited my friends for coffee in my place after our usual Sunday afternoon walk. One of the things we discussed was how politicians always criticise quickly their opponents without providing alternatives. French Pres. Macron’s choice of Prime Minister attracted not only criticisms but also demonstrations. In last month’s US presidential debates, Harris and Trump traded blows. Harris was criticised for laughing too much; who didn’t? I did when Trump said, “In Springfield, they are eating the dogs. The people that came in, they are eating the cats. They’re eating – they are eating the pets of the people that live there.” (Interesting read – Trump repeats baseless claim about Haitian immigrants eating pets by Merlyn Thomas & Mike Wendling. BBC News https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c77l28myezko).

I should not have laughed because that false assertion can cause prejudice, victimisation, and division. Surely, the targeted people didn’t laugh.

When we hear the word “criticism”, we associate it with negativism. However, any dictionary describes “criticism” as an opinion or judgment about the good or bad qualities of someone, something, or an activity. Criticism isn’t only destructive. Constructive criticism provides useful feedback for improvement.

You don’t have to be a psychologist, philosopher, or any relevant pundit to know that when we criticise people negatively, we anger the latter and make them defensive.  They don’t change their behaviour to please us or respect us more; it’s more likely the contrary. How do we know that what we give or receive is constructive or destructive criticism?  When we’re criticised in a manner meant to belittle or hurt us, it’s the latter. In this situation, we should stay calm, breathe deeply, and pause before responding with factual words in a polite tone. Some people are stuck in a rut, reflecting more about themselves and their beliefs than those they criticise.

We all experience criticising and being criticised. Hence, how/whatever we do, we’re likely to be criticised. We even criticise ourselves openly and in our minds. How many times have we said to ourselves, “If only …”, “It’s my fault …”, “I should have …”, etc. 

 “Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Aristotle

Whereas, constructive criticism should be everyone’s business. If we want to provide positive criticism or feedback, it has to be with good intentions and supported by specific examples delivered in a friendly manner. This might include having a respectful formal or informal discussion or brainstorming session to find out ways for the person to improve.

Examples of constructive criticism:

• Your PowerPoint presentation had a lot of useful information, but adding more colourful visual examples will make it more mesmerising.

Rather than “Your PowerPoint presentation was dull” (or boring).

• Your report has some strong arguments, but it can be improved by changing passive sentences into active ones.

            Rather than “Your report is poorly written”.

• I have noticed that you sent the email later than agreed. Can we discuss any challenges you’ve been facing and ways to manage better our deadlines?”

            Rather than “You’re always late; you missed the deadline again”.

We ought to be prudent when using “always”. When we hear “always,” we may feel criticised negatively regularly, making us defensive rather than receptive to feedback.

To communicate or converse more effectively, it’s better to use specific, factual language that acknowledges strengths and areas for improvement (i.e. constructive and productive approach).