Tag Archives: Communication

We all criticise, even ourselves!

Career and employment

On 8 September, I invited my friends for coffee in my place after our usual Sunday afternoon walk. One of the things we discussed was how politicians always criticise quickly their opponents without providing alternatives. French Pres. Macron’s choice of Prime Minister attracted not only criticisms but also demonstrations. In last month’s US presidential debates, Harris and Trump traded blows. Harris was criticised for laughing too much; who didn’t? I did when Trump said, “In Springfield, they are eating the dogs. The people that came in, they are eating the cats. They’re eating – they are eating the pets of the people that live there.” (Interesting read – Trump repeats baseless claim about Haitian immigrants eating pets by Merlyn Thomas & Mike Wendling. BBC News https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c77l28myezko).

I should not have laughed because that false assertion can cause prejudice, victimisation, and division. Surely, the targeted people didn’t laugh.

When we hear the word “criticism”, we associate it with negativism. However, any dictionary describes “criticism” as an opinion or judgment about the good or bad qualities of someone, something, or an activity. Criticism isn’t only destructive. Constructive criticism provides useful feedback for improvement.

You don’t have to be a psychologist, philosopher, or any relevant pundit to know that when we criticise people negatively, we anger the latter and make them defensive.  They don’t change their behaviour to please us or respect us more; it’s more likely the contrary. How do we know that what we give or receive is constructive or destructive criticism?  When we’re criticised in a manner meant to belittle or hurt us, it’s the latter. In this situation, we should stay calm, breathe deeply, and pause before responding with factual words in a polite tone. Some people are stuck in a rut, reflecting more about themselves and their beliefs than those they criticise.

We all experience criticising and being criticised. Hence, how/whatever we do, we’re likely to be criticised. We even criticise ourselves openly and in our minds. How many times have we said to ourselves, “If only …”, “It’s my fault …”, “I should have …”, etc. 

 “Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Aristotle

Whereas, constructive criticism should be everyone’s business. If we want to provide positive criticism or feedback, it has to be with good intentions and supported by specific examples delivered in a friendly manner. This might include having a respectful formal or informal discussion or brainstorming session to find out ways for the person to improve.

Examples of constructive criticism:

  • Your PowerPoint presentation had a lot of useful information, but adding more colourful visual examples will make it more mesmerising.

Rather than “Your PowerPoint presentation was dull” (or boring).

  • Your report has some strong arguments, but it can be improved by changing passive sentences into active ones.

            Rather than “Your report is poorly written”.

  • I have noticed that you sent the email later than agreed. Can we discuss any challenges you’ve been facing and ways to manage better our deadlines?”

            Rather than “You’re always late; you missed the deadline again”.

We ought to be prudent when using “always”. When we hear “always,” we may feel criticised negatively regularly, making us defensive rather than receptive to feedback.

To communicate or converse more effectively, it’s better to use specific, factual language that acknowledges strengths and areas for improvement (i.e. constructive and productive approach).

Quiet Vacationing: Why employees shouldn’t lie?

Societal Issues, ,

Three weeks ago, I happily spoke with a friend about my son’s recent university graduation. Our conversation expanded to occupational differences and life-work balance. When I got home, I received this link from her (https://www.theguardian.com/money/article/2024/may/22/quiet-vacationing-why-workers-are-sneaking-off-on-holiday-without-telling-their-boss). I was taken aback yet not so stunned to know that some people lie about working when they aren’t, i.e. they’re on holiday.

Employees lie to their bosses for many reasons, such as because they haven’t been given time off from work and feel the need to be away from it. The Internet has abundant articles on the importance of taking time off from work: increased productivity, enhanced company culture, increased retention, lower stress, improved mental and physical health, and boosted morale.

However, not all employers understand this, and it is the main reason given by liars, which is a “no, no” justification. Walls have eyes and ears; hence, managers and colleagues eventually find out about such lies. Often, the quiet vacationers’ change in behaviours, e.g. being unusually secretive or defensive, provides a clue. As well, they may inadvertently post photos and messages showing they were definitely not at work. “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”- Mark Twain (1835-1910, American writer)

With the acceptability of teleworking, the other concern is not whether employees work in the office or elsewhere but about their productivity for the entire time they claim they are working. Some pretend they’re working by using applications that do the task for them; others by signing on to virtual meetings while doing personal chores or watching a movie.

If you can’t take time off for urgent work reasons, then get rid of your phone after your normal working hours and on weekends, i.e. simply disconnect and relax at home. If you need longer than a weekend or don’t want to disclose information about your holiday, you can inform your boss that you’ll be on staycation.

If you’ve taken time off or gone on vacation (US)/holiday (UK) without getting it approved by your manager or through a proper channel, then you’ve lied and disengaged from your organisation. This is a red flag for you and your employer, and there should be an honest conversation about the former’s role and responsibility in the company and the latter’s duty of care to employees.

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900, German philosopher)

Pronunciation matters and not accents

culture, language, Societal Issues, society

Tongues wagged when Cuban-born and Spanish-raised actress, Ana de Armas, was cast to play Marilyn Monroe in the Netflix movie “Blonde”. According to the media, director Andrew Dominik (a New Zealand-born Australian) admitted hesitating to give her the role because of her accent and had only recently learnt English as a second language.

Is accent important in an individual’s career?

A US-based startup Sanas has developed software that uses artificial intelligence (AI) to mimic a person’s accent on the phone and modify this when responding through a phone or computer microphone. Apparently, this new technology reduces abuse from native English speakers of call centre staff who do not have their accents. Its proponents believe it leads to better clarity and understanding and improves customer satisfaction.

Accents are a vital part of our history and identity; they give clues about who we are and the cultural community or national group we belong to. Everyone has an accent; these different accents showcase the richness of our world and its cultures.

English is an international language, and there are more non-native than native speakers who use it regularly. The issue is to communicate with others, i.e. understand and be understood, not accents.

An accent is not the same as pronunciation. You can get a pronunciation ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, but there’s no right or wrong accent.

My former student used to pronounce analysis “analaiz” (the correct pronunciation is “ə-na-lə-səs”). One of her sentences was: “This analaiz domontrit the importance of flexibility at work”. French native speakers do not pronounce the ending letter “s” of words in their language. The letter “e” sounds “o” (e.g. peu, which means little in English, is pronounced as “po”). They pronounce the English letter “e” as “e” only when it has a grave accent (è), as in mère (mother) and père (father).

If you mispronounce, you can be misunderstood. However, a person can speak English flawlessly with whatever accent. Even among native speakers, there are many accents. Last year, our supervisor asked me if I wanted to take over a class; this was our conversation —

S: We have a client who is not easy to please. She wants to improve her English and have a British accent. Do you have a British accent?” (As if he had not heard me speak before).

R: Which one? Scottish, Irish, Welsh, London English, Liverpool English, BBC English?

S: I don’t know. She didn’t specify. Any of these will do.

R: Ninguno de estos.

S: Perhaps you can still take her. You’ve said that you like teaching challenging students.

R: Thanks, but I’m afraid it’s NO. I go for learners with a half-full glass mentality and a good sense of humour, in addition to being motivated and proud of their cultural and linguistic heritage.

When your pronunciation is correct, you can communicate effectively with others, whatever your accent. In business and financial environments, airports, touristic places and universities, people speak English as a second or third language, a lingua franca. Thus, the goal of having a native speaker’s accent is irrelevant.

To understand our fellow humans and communicate with them successfully, we have to come into contact with different accents so that we can cope with the real people in the real world.