Tag Archives: Communication

When There’s a Will, there’s a Way – Tackling ethnicism

Cross-cultural Communication, immigration and multiculturalism, Societal Issues, Values and Principles,

(This is not AI-generated. It’s the required essay I submitted to Harvard University’s X AESTHINT15 Course “Rhetoric: The Art of Persuasive Writing and Public Speaking” – 8/8 peer- reviewed and graded)

“I’m not a racist; my sister-in-law is from Asia.”

“I’m not a racist; my best friend is from Africa.”

 “I’m not a racist, but I can’t stand people from that country because …”

These kinds of statements reveal a troubling reality.  Racism, as we once understood it, may no longer exist because biology and skin colour are blurred categories in today’s diverse societies. However, I urge you to look closer. Racism has not vanished; it has shifted form.

That new form is ethnicism.

Ethnicism is discrimination based not on your skin colour, but on your ethnic identity — your language, your nationality, your traditions, or even your accent. Unlike racism, ethnicism can exist between people who appear physically identical.

Ethnicism happens in workplaces when managers promote only those from their own ethnic group, even when others are just as qualified. Ethnicism happens in friendship circles when people whisper, “They don’t understand our humour.” Ethnicism happens in societies when certain groups are stereotyped, excluded, or constantly asked to “prove” where they belong. That single word “they” builds invisible walls that separate people who should be working together.

You might say: “Isn’t this just a matter of personal bias? Aren’t you overthinking everyday preferences or harmless jokes?”

The answer is no. Ethnicism is not harmless.

When we tolerate ethnicism, we limit our future. How many great discoveries, how much art, how much leadership and creativity have we lost because someone’s ethnic background caused doors to close before they had a chance to knock?

Consider the student with a strong accent who is mocked rather than mentored. The job candidate with a “foreign”-sounding surname whose resume is quietly pushed aside. The employee who works hard but never gets promoted because “they don’t quite fit in.” These are not just individual tragedies; they are collective losses. Every time we allow ethnicism to flourish, we silence ideas that could transform industries, communities, even nations.

Addressing ethnicism isn’t just a moral duty; it is a practical necessity. How do we confront this hidden form of discrimination?

Here are three ways.

Words matter

Language shapes perception. Phrases like, “But where do you really come from?” may sound innocent, but they carry heavy implications. They imply exclusion, “You are not truly one of us.” Words can wound or heal. We must choose words that bring people in, not push them out.

Actions matter

Even small actions can move mountains. Do not laugh along when someone mocks an accent. Do not excuse hiring decisions that are clearly biased. Do not overlook exclusion in social circles. Standing by silently is complicity. Speaking up, whether in a boardroom, classroom, or café, signals that ethnicism isn’t tolerated.

Awareness and humility matter

We are proud of our heritage, and rightly so, but pride must never become prejudice. We must examine our own biases honestly, admit when we are wrong, and commit to fairness in daily life. We must see people first as individuals, not as representatives of a stereotype.

Ethnicism may not always make the headlines like racism once did, but it is no less destructive.

Imagine a future where every child, regardless of their accent, surname, or cultural traditions, feels they belong. Imagine workplaces where promotions are earned through talent and merit, not determined by ethnicity or group affiliation. Imagine communities that celebrate our differences, not as divisions, but as sources of strength and unity.

So let us not turn a blind eye to ethnicism. Let us dismantle it wherever it appears. This fight is not only a moral obligation; it is a matter of survival, innovation, and justice.

(I discuss the concept and reality of ethnicity in my book “Where You Are Really From”.)

Connection and Inclusion: Let’s row the boat together

Cross-cultural Communication, language, personal and social development, Societal Issues, society, Values and Principles, ,

Meteorologically, autumn in Europe begins today, September 1 which sounds official, but it just means the calendar is trying to boss us around. Thankfully, the sky is still a cheerful blue, and the air feels like summer forgot to collect its belongings before leaving.

Thus, I wasn’t shocked when one of my friends texted me that she was sitting in the coffee shop right across from my place. What I didn’t expect was that she’d bought “Where You Are Really From.” That’s what true friends do: they buy your books and pop up in random cafés, making your day brighter. Their actions remind us that we share the same boat, and by rowing together, we can reach the shore with strength and safety.”

This friend isn’t into “I, me, and selfie” routine, so you won’t find her in the frame. It’s a pity because you’re missing out on her beautiful Irish smiles — the kind that could probably qualify for cultural heritage status.

“Where You Are Really From” was born from an unholy union of righteous indignation and the unshakable urge to prove a point with footnotes. It all started in October last year at the book fair in Luxembourg. I was having a pleasant, literary day until an American shattered the peace. With the breezy confidence of someone who had just Googled the quote on my stand, he triumphantly declared that I was Filipino. It was not in a curious or conversational tone but in the proud voice of a person who believed he had just discovered me, had planted a flag with a golden sun that symbolises independence and democracy, and was awaiting to be appointed the Philippines’ honorary consul in Luxembourg.

Naturally, I was offended; but rather than trigger an international incident, I chose the nobler path (i.e. weaponising passive-aggressive humour in book form … ha!ha!). It is diplomacy with a smirk, a tasteful hint of reality, and just enough seriousness to keep a straight face.

I began with a table of contents before the actual content, which was like building a menu before learning to cook.  Five months later, in March, I met John (another American), who agreed to be my beta reader. In June, came one more American, Karen! Isn’t this mysteriously coincidental? It is a story that started and concluded with Americans, at a moment in history when their president is not exactly enjoying a wave of global affection.

After some deliberations and numerous cups of herbal tea, I landed on three contenders for the cover. After soul-searching and pixel-pushing, I ended up designing a cover that looked suspiciously like an Australian passport. I wanted to go with the classy French “burgundy” look that I also have, but (apparently) blue covers outsell red ones. (Capitalism – 1, Aesthetics – 0). Then, I resorted to the ultimate decision-making strategy: emailing 17 friends around the world to cast their votes.  My final choice was influenced by this message from my Aussie friend: “Hi Rolade, given the topic, I think that the first cover is by far the best. It is warm and human, the second design is too impersonal for me”.

So, there you have it:“Where You Are Really From” isa journey of identity, accidental offence, new friendship, humour, and a manuscript sprinkled with existential seasoning. 

We all criticise, even ourselves!

Career and employment

On 8 September, I invited my friends for coffee in my place after our usual Sunday afternoon walk. One of the things we discussed was how politicians always criticise quickly their opponents without providing alternatives. French Pres. Macron’s choice of Prime Minister attracted not only criticisms but also demonstrations. In last month’s US presidential debates, Harris and Trump traded blows. Harris was criticised for laughing too much; who didn’t? I did when Trump said, “In Springfield, they are eating the dogs. The people that came in, they are eating the cats. They’re eating – they are eating the pets of the people that live there.” (Interesting read – Trump repeats baseless claim about Haitian immigrants eating pets by Merlyn Thomas & Mike Wendling. BBC News https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c77l28myezko).

I should not have laughed because that false assertion can cause prejudice, victimisation, and division. Surely, the targeted people didn’t laugh.

When we hear the word “criticism”, we associate it with negativism. However, any dictionary describes “criticism” as an opinion or judgment about the good or bad qualities of someone, something, or an activity. Criticism isn’t only destructive. Constructive criticism provides useful feedback for improvement.

You don’t have to be a psychologist, philosopher, or any relevant pundit to know that when we criticise people negatively, we anger the latter and make them defensive.  They don’t change their behaviour to please us or respect us more; it’s more likely the contrary. How do we know that what we give or receive is constructive or destructive criticism?  When we’re criticised in a manner meant to belittle or hurt us, it’s the latter. In this situation, we should stay calm, breathe deeply, and pause before responding with factual words in a polite tone. Some people are stuck in a rut, reflecting more about themselves and their beliefs than those they criticise.

We all experience criticising and being criticised. Hence, how/whatever we do, we’re likely to be criticised. We even criticise ourselves openly and in our minds. How many times have we said to ourselves, “If only …”, “It’s my fault …”, “I should have …”, etc. 

 “Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Aristotle

Whereas, constructive criticism should be everyone’s business. If we want to provide positive criticism or feedback, it has to be with good intentions and supported by specific examples delivered in a friendly manner. This might include having a respectful formal or informal discussion or brainstorming session to find out ways for the person to improve.

Examples of constructive criticism:

  • Your PowerPoint presentation had a lot of useful information, but adding more colourful visual examples will make it more mesmerising.

Rather than “Your PowerPoint presentation was dull” (or boring).

  • Your report has some strong arguments, but it can be improved by changing passive sentences into active ones.

            Rather than “Your report is poorly written”.

  • I have noticed that you sent the email later than agreed. Can we discuss any challenges you’ve been facing and ways to manage better our deadlines?”

            Rather than “You’re always late; you missed the deadline again”.

We ought to be prudent when using “always”. When we hear “always,” we may feel criticised negatively regularly, making us defensive rather than receptive to feedback.

To communicate or converse more effectively, it’s better to use specific, factual language that acknowledges strengths and areas for improvement (i.e. constructive and productive approach).

Quiet Vacationing: Why employees shouldn’t lie?

Societal Issues, ,

Three weeks ago, I happily spoke with a friend about my son’s recent university graduation. Our conversation expanded to occupational differences and life-work balance. When I got home, I received this link from her (https://www.theguardian.com/money/article/2024/may/22/quiet-vacationing-why-workers-are-sneaking-off-on-holiday-without-telling-their-boss). I was taken aback yet not so stunned to know that some people lie about working when they aren’t, i.e. they’re on holiday.

Employees lie to their bosses for many reasons, such as because they haven’t been given time off from work and feel the need to be away from it. The Internet has abundant articles on the importance of taking time off from work: increased productivity, enhanced company culture, increased retention, lower stress, improved mental and physical health, and boosted morale.

However, not all employers understand this, and it is the main reason given by liars, which is a “no, no” justification. Walls have eyes and ears; hence, managers and colleagues eventually find out about such lies. Often, the quiet vacationers’ change in behaviours, e.g. being unusually secretive or defensive, provides a clue. As well, they may inadvertently post photos and messages showing they were definitely not at work. “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”- Mark Twain (1835-1910, American writer)

With the acceptability of teleworking, the other concern is not whether employees work in the office or elsewhere but about their productivity for the entire time they claim they are working. Some pretend they’re working by using applications that do the task for them; others by signing on to virtual meetings while doing personal chores or watching a movie.

If you can’t take time off for urgent work reasons, then get rid of your phone after your normal working hours and on weekends, i.e. simply disconnect and relax at home. If you need longer than a weekend or don’t want to disclose information about your holiday, you can inform your boss that you’ll be on staycation.

If you’ve taken time off or gone on vacation (US)/holiday (UK) without getting it approved by your manager or through a proper channel, then you’ve lied and disengaged from your organisation. This is a red flag for you and your employer, and there should be an honest conversation about the former’s role and responsibility in the company and the latter’s duty of care to employees.

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900, German philosopher)

Pronunciation matters and not accents

culture, language, Societal Issues, society

Tongues wagged when Cuban-born and Spanish-raised actress, Ana de Armas, was cast to play Marilyn Monroe in the Netflix movie “Blonde”. According to the media, director Andrew Dominik (a New Zealand-born Australian) admitted hesitating to give her the role because of her accent and had only recently learnt English as a second language.

Is accent important in an individual’s career?

A US-based startup Sanas has developed software that uses artificial intelligence (AI) to mimic a person’s accent on the phone and modify this when responding through a phone or computer microphone. Apparently, this new technology reduces abuse from native English speakers of call centre staff who do not have their accents. Its proponents believe it leads to better clarity and understanding and improves customer satisfaction.

Accents are a vital part of our history and identity; they give clues about who we are and the cultural community or national group we belong to. Everyone has an accent; these different accents showcase the richness of our world and its cultures.

English is an international language, and there are more non-native than native speakers who use it regularly. The issue is to communicate with others, i.e. understand and be understood, not accents.

An accent is not the same as pronunciation. You can get a pronunciation ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, but there’s no right or wrong accent.

My former student used to pronounce analysis “analaiz” (the correct pronunciation is “ə-na-lə-səs”). One of her sentences was: “This analaiz domontrit the importance of flexibility at work”. French native speakers do not pronounce the ending letter “s” of words in their language. The letter “e” sounds “o” (e.g. peu, which means little in English, is pronounced as “po”). They pronounce the English letter “e” as “e” only when it has a grave accent (è), as in mère (mother) and père (father).

If you mispronounce, you can be misunderstood. However, a person can speak English flawlessly with whatever accent. Even among native speakers, there are many accents. Last year, our supervisor asked me if I wanted to take over a class; this was our conversation —

S: We have a client who is not easy to please. She wants to improve her English and have a British accent. Do you have a British accent?” (As if he had not heard me speak before).

R: Which one? Scottish, Irish, Welsh, London English, Liverpool English, BBC English?

S: I don’t know. She didn’t specify. Any of these will do.

R: Ninguno de estos.

S: Perhaps you can still take her. You’ve said that you like teaching challenging students.

R: Thanks, but I’m afraid it’s NO. I go for learners with a half-full glass mentality and a good sense of humour, in addition to being motivated and proud of their cultural and linguistic heritage.

When your pronunciation is correct, you can communicate effectively with others, whatever your accent. In business and financial environments, airports, touristic places and universities, people speak English as a second or third language, a lingua franca. Thus, the goal of having a native speaker’s accent is irrelevant.

To understand our fellow humans and communicate with them successfully, we have to come into contact with different accents so that we can cope with the real people in the real world.