Category Archives: Values and Principles

How are you? I’m Busy!

The year 2024 has started with challenging projects and deadlines for me. Like many people who wear several hats, I wish I had more than 24 hours in a day or more than two hands. Thus, last week, I had difficulty responding to “How are you?” It would have been easier and simpler to reply “busy”. Since I felt it was a bit unfriendly, I said, “Alright, and you?” Did they really want to know how I was or what was going on with my life? 

Benoit has told me he doesn’t respond to “How are you?” because it’s just a greeting and doesn’t mean something. If that’s the case, why say “How are you” when you can do it with “Hello” or “Hi”? 

When I say “How are you?”, I mean it as a greeting and wanting to know if the person is well or happy. Therefore, I’m pleased with any of these responses: I’m well, I’m great, I’m okay, I’m alright, and I’m fine. Most people are polite and continue the conversation with “How about you” or “And you?” The chatter can prolong depending on your relationship with the individual (colleague, neighbour, friend, etc.). 

I’m glad I didn’t respond “busy” to “How are you?” because what does being busy mean? Busyness is a choice; you are either busy or not. It’s a relative word and can be positive or negative. Merriam-Webster defines the adjective “busy” (ˈbi-zē) as engaged in action (occupied), full of activity (bustling), foolishly or intrusively active (meddling), or full of distracting detail. (https://www.merriam-webster.com › dictionary › busy).

“Busy” can sound more negative than positive, and if you believe in the law of attraction, it’s one of these words that should be used with care and in moderation, plus the tone. According to the law of attraction, negative thoughts bring negative results into a person’s life, and so with positivism. It is based on the belief that thoughts are a form of energy, and positive energy attracts success in all areas of life, including health, finances, and relationships (Scott, E. 2022. What Is the Law of Attraction? How Your Thoughts Can Influence Outcomes in Your Life. Https://www.verywellmind.com/understanding-and-using-the-law-of-attraction-3144808).

Therefore, instead of “I’m busy”, why not “I’m working on/I’m involved in/I’m tied up”? I sometimes say, “I’ve lots to do but not snowed under”. If someone wants you to do something, try this phrase — “I’m afraid I don’t have time to do it now” or “Yes, when I have a minute”. 

Saying you’re busy can be a writing on the wall or a self-fulfilling prophecy. Busyness (noun; busily – adverb) can lead to self-negligence, unrealistic goals, anxiety, and fatigue that may cause burnout. It can become an addiction, and any form of addiction is toxic. 

No one should be busy not to engage in self-care, i.e. having sound and enough sleep, eating nutritious food regularly, exercising, participating in group activities, etc.

“Half an hour’s meditation each day is essential, except when you are busy. Then a full hour is needed”.  – Saint Francis de Sales (Https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/busy-quotes).

(Before getting up every morning, while still lying down, I focus on a particular object or subject for calmness – this is meditation for me. We don’t need to be seated on the floor with our hands resting lightly on our legs to meditate. It can even be done standing).

Prioritisation of tasks prevents busyness.

Summer is gone; here comes autumn

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started”. – Mark Twain

The school year in Europe starts in September. In France, people exchange greetings, “Bonne rentrée”. ‘Rentrer” (pronunciation – Rahn-tray) means ‘to return’. Although it originally meant “reprendre l’école” (back at school); these days, we also use it to refer to work after the summer holiday “reprendre ton travail” and not only “reprendre tes études” (studies).

Jorge Liboreiro even started his EuroNews Briefing article with: “The first week of September marks la rentrée in the Belgian capital, the synchronised comeback of freshly energised, glowingly tanned eurocrats to their spotless offices” (sic).

Not everyone is motivated to resume or start studies or work. Those with low levels or no motivation depend on external rewards (e.g. high grades, money, promotion, or material things) to get involved, known as extrinsic motivation.

The highly motivated ones are nudged by the sheer satisfaction of being part of the activity or process. They are challenged, curious, or praised. Pundits call this intrinsic motivation. Edward L. Deci and Richard M. Ryan’s theory of extrinsic and intrinsic was developed in the 70s-80s. While extrinsic is a trigger (initial boost), intrinsic is sustainable.

Intrinsic motivation is long-lasting, whereas extrinsic motivation is short-term; both are relevant to personal development.

Perception, judgment, or approval of others can be detrimental motivating factors, particularly in our modern Internet and social media society. Instead, we should focus on positive intrinsic reasons, such as wellbeing and mindfulness, connection with people and our environment, and enjoying what we do.

“Whatever anyone else says or does, their words and their actions are truly about themselves. Don’t take it personally when they rant, even if they direct their unhappiness in your direction. Their negativity is basically selfishness, and their selfishness is about them, not about you”. – Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our Words Matter

On 23 March 2023, I was invited to speak at the European Parliament Directorate-General for Personnel’s hybrid event to observe the International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination. The theme was “Anti-Racism –Why words matter”.

Some of the things I said were:

Classifying individuals as English speakers and non-English speakers is inappropriate when based only on the language of the country they come from. They should be described as people with a “First Language Spoken Other Than English” and “First Language Spoken English”. If you want to refer to their spoken English proficiency, describe them as “Speaks English Very Well, Fluent, or Proficient, “Speaks English Well or Conversational”, “Basiс”, or “No English Language Skill”.

“Our, Their, Us, and Them” are pronouns that should be used wisely, as they can be polarising. They affect feelings, thoughts, and actions. Whereas, social cohesion reduces fear and prejudice.

Race is ascribed to individuals based on physical traits; it’s not their choice. Race is not the same as ethnicity, which the individual chooses, encompassing everything from language to nationality, culture and traditions, religion, and values.

Race has no coherent, fixed definition, and its myth hasn’t served humanity well.

We use “blacklist” for something negative or prohibited. Doesn’t this reinforce notions that black is undesirable while white is desirable? How about using “barredlist”, “denylist”, “blockedlist”, or “disallowedlist” instead?

Are there prejudicial and offensive words and phrases in your language?

  • “Gyp” or “Gip” is a short version of gypsy/gipsy- Slang for swindlers and cheaters. Dupe, rip off, take advantage, or trick
  • “Chop Chop!” sounds like you’re making fun of a Chinese speaking Pidgin English. Do it quickly
  • “Guru” – A spiritual guide or leader. In the Buddhist and Hindu traditions, “guru” commands respect and using it casually calls into question its original value.
  • Voodoo economics is used to describe supply-side economics (i.e. something based on unreal and impractical concepts). Voodoo is a religion practised in Haiti and parts of the Caribbean.
  • An immigrant is a human being; a human being cannot be illegal. Why not use “Individual/family/people with undocumented status”; or focus on the action, i.e. illegal entry?
  • “Alien” and “foreigner” suggest that the person does not belong to a particular place or group, i.e. a stranger or outsider. “Foreign-born people” tells you they were born in a country where they don’t currently reside.

Issues on ethnic slurs or racism in the workplace:

  • Is there psychological safety in the workplace?
  • No individual target; no one complains about it. (Someone may perceive this as such and become unproductive due to offended sensibilities).
  • An isolated incident may be repeated and can become a norm.
  • It’s only a joke/just for fun. Humour and jokes can poster or improve group cohesiveness. Laughing and smiling relieve anger, boredom, fatigue, frustration, and tension. However, when the workplace is inundated with such practices and management implicitly or explicitly condones them, making at least one employee uncomfortable, it has to stop. The bottom line is respecting the words and feelings of everyone.

Words matter! Language is the foundation of how we understand and treat each other. Words can make the difference between respecting and dehumanising each other.

Online Gatekeeping


Gatekeeping is a process of selecting and then filtering items that can be consumed within time or space. A gatekeeper is a person who controls access to something; in Facebook groups, this can be an administrator or moderator.

I’m writing this because I posted a message on our FB book club two weeks ago about a culture and immigration festival that included book exhibitions, reading novels’ first pages, etc. After the event, I contacted the administrator enquiring why it wasn’t approved. She apologised and explained that it’s pending (not disallowed) because she’s busy managing other activities and suggested emailing her directly when I have a post.

Gatekeeping has pluses and minuses. Unrelevant and offensive messages are filtered out. On the other hand, it’s toxic when it bars people from participating in a group or community or discussion based on narrow criteria or questionable reasons.


Why and how do administrators and moderators have this gatekeeping power?


Administrators appoint or remove a moderator, manage group settings (such as changing the group name or settings), approve or deny membership and participants’ requests, approve or reject posts, delete comments on posts, ban people from the group, and pin or unpin a post (i.e. positioning – e.g. move to the top of the page.)


Moderators approve or deny membership and participants’ requests, approve or deny posts, remove comments, and ban people from the group.


Do administrators and moderators own the group when they have started or created it?

How can we ensure administrators and moderators don’t use the group for their sole gain?


“The words of the tongue should have three gatekeepers: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?” – Arabian Proverb


My pending, obsolete post is history. However, the success of the festival – organised by the Comité de Liaison des Associations d’Étrangers ( CLAE) and one of Luxembourg’s most important annual events – lingers on. There were about 30,000 visitors to its 400 stands.

AI and Me

Last week, while fine-tuning my manuscript for publication, doubts clouded my mind. There has been a flood of articles and buzz about artificial intelligence (AI) ChatGPT, including its use for writing and content development. Is there a need for a “Clear and Concise Writing” book? Did I waste my time drafting this? Shall I spend more time getting it published?


The use of AI has advantages and flaws. It can save time and money, reduce errors and increase accuracy, hide one’s lack of competence, and enthuse laziness.


AI “ChatGPT does not have the ability to search the internet for information and rather, uses the information it learned from training data to generate a response, which leaves room for error”. – Ortiz, 2022 (https://www.zdnet.com/article/what-is-chatgpt-and-why-does-it-matter-heres-what-you-need-to-know/).


“As a language model, ChatGPT is not a traditional source that would typically be included in a bibliography. Instead, you can acknowledge the use of the model in the text and a note or a disclaimer. For example, you can add a statement like “This document was generated with the help of ChatGPT, a large language model developed by OpenAI. It’s important to note that ChatGPT is a tool, it does not conduct original research, it only provides the information it was trained on, and it’s not an author”. – ChatGPT by OpenAI accessed on 20/01/2023.


Out of curiosity, I logged in on 22/01/23. This is what it gave me: “Write an acrostic poem about the status of ChatGPT.
C: ChatGPT is currently down
H: Huge demand has caused the site to crash
A: All users will have to wait
T: Time is needed for the servers to catch up
G: Go grab a coffee and check back soon
P: Patience is key in this situation
T: Trust that the team is working hard to fix it up”.


English physicist Stephen William Hawking (1942-2018), famous for his theories on relativity and quantum mechanics, had said: “The primitive forms of artificial intelligence we already have, have proved very useful. But I think the development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race.” (Cellan-Jones, https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-30290540. Seen on 23/01/23).

Two days ago, I received an email from one of my students that included these encouraging words: “I’ve been thinking about the question you raised earlier about whether you should publish the book or not. I hope you will, and human beings will always do. You (human authors in general) write books, and AI generates them. I don’t care how good an AI-generated book may/will be one day. I like knowing that there’s someone feeling something while writing the book that makes me feel something when reading it”.


I have subtitled my book “Self-confidence and not software -dependence”.

Ethics on gift giving at work

The holiday season of giving and receiving is coming, and you may wonder whether you should give presents to your supervisors and colleagues. Is there a general rule of thumb regarding workplace gift-giving? I have heard that it should be a top-down flow, i.e. from bosses to floor personnel, rather than the other way around. Giving presents to superiors depends on the circumstance. For example, staff can collect money to purchase a present for a manager who is leaving or getting married. This gift and the accompanying message should be professional in style. Is cash an acceptable gift to superiors? Of course, not, but a voucher can be justifiable. There should definitely be no gift-giving during the appraisal period or the annual performance review.

Employees can exchange gifts with each other. However, giving to receive is a no-no. If you feel like you’re losing something by giving, you are not genuinely giving; you’re sacrificing, which can lead to disappointments or regrets later. Not everyone has the means to buy presents for colleagues or contribute to a gift collection for a boss, particularly at this time of economic crisis and insecurity. The good news is that non-material presents often last longer, and these can be a compliment, attention, time, or patience that builds relationships or maintains peace.

When living in Australia, my co-worker’s daughter-in-law distributed boxes of curried rice to all her colleagues, friends, and family as Christmas presents. I don’t have a signature dish, so I won’t do what she did, but I will go the extra mile to come up with something creative and valuable (I’ll tell you what in my next post). 

My students have told me they are not allowed to receive presents worth more than 50 euros from external collaborators in their organisation. For gifts that cost less than 50 euros, they must share these with their colleagues.

How about doing random acts of kindness at work and elsewhere? For instance, saying hello to a co-worker you haven’t spoken with for ages. How about sending emails, text messages, and cards with cheerful greetings and messages? A few months ago, my ex-students invited me to lunch. One of them said that the birthday card I gave her more than 10 years ago is still in her drawer, and she smiles every time she sees it.

My memorable gifts in 2020 were the five-star book reviews on Amazon that have had a positive snowball effect on me. I don’t know and have the contact details of these generous readers, so I haven’t thanked them. I hope this message reaches them (better late than never): I appreciate what you have done and wish to return your kindness one day. “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” – Winston S. Churchill.

“It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.” – Mother Teresa