Tag Archives: Optimism

It’s always greener on the other side

personal and social development, Societal Issues, Values and Principles

I sent the above photo to my friends in Australia and Singapore on 09/01/25 with this message: “It’s snowing in Luxembourg. It took me more than an hour to get home last night (distance – 28 km)”.

My bezzie texted back instantly, “Oh; that’s beautiful! I’d swap the extreme heat and severe summer thunderstorms for the snow at this time”.

A second later, this comment came from Aussie friends living in Singapore: “Our children were affected by the weather on their journeys back to the UK as they had cancellations in Singapore and delays in Frankfurt. On the other hand, we arrived in Melbourne on Saturday to 36 degrees”. Wow, how warm and sunny Down Under; so, I responded, “Wish I were there”.

There you are! “It’s always greener on the other side”, isn’t it?

“It’s greener on the other side” suggests that what we don’t have or haven’t experienced is more desirable than what is within our reach. I’ve lived in these two different climatic conditions and know what suits me better. I love the outdoors and picnicking with family and friends. Layers of clothing, bonnets and gloves make me uncomfortable. Hence, “It’s always greener on the other side” is inapplicable to my situation.

I’m not a great believer of “the other side is greener” because we are often blinded by the allure of the unknown and the belief that something better exists than we’re currently experiencing. The word “greener” is a comparative form, and we – humans – have the tendency to always compare things, places, events, and people. This comparison is frequently due to envy or dissatisfaction with one’s own situation, or it is due to our longing for what we perceive others have or enjoy.

Likewise, while it may feel like the grass is greener elsewhere, in reality, this belief can be an illusion. Any situation and relationship come with challenges that require work, compromise, and emotional investment. The idea that there’s something better waiting on the other side of the fence with no hurdle to jump can lead to dissatisfaction and a constant pursuit of the unattainable.

For example, employees may think that a new job, a different employer or manager, or a different industry will provide more fulfilment. However, no career is without its frustrations; contentment always comes from within and from dealing with those around us rather than constantly looking outward for an easier (so called “better”) option.

The reality behind the “greener” myth is that the only way to find real happiness is to appreciate what we already have and to make the most of the present. Constantly yearning for something else prevents us from seeing the wonderfulness and opportunities in our lives.

Coming back to my remark about the two geographical locations and their weather conditions, I’m grateful to have lived and worked in these two continents. There are imperfections and difficulties in these two countries; as well, someone’s nightmare can be another’s paradise. Personal happiness is highly subjective and depends on individual goals, values, and circumstances. What is “greener” for one person may not be for another and, often, we fail to acknowledge how much effort it takes to achieve these perceived “greener” outcomes.

The phrase “It’s always greener on the other side” should remind us of the danger of comparison and the unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves. While it’s natural to wonder if something else might be better, it’s important to remember that what we have is often more valuable than we realise.

For those who believe in Valentine’s Day, I wish you a fantastic celebration.

Are they/we good neighbours?

personal and social development, Societal Issues, society, Values and Principles, ,

Recently, my former student Ben helped organise an “invitation to dinner” event in his village, Tontelange, which involved hosting neighbours they didn’t know. I was impressed, as I believe that this kind of gathering fosters a supportive, enjoyable, and thriving community.

Neighbourhood interactions help people feel more connected to the places they live, fostering a sense of belonging. We’re more likely to look out for each other when we know the people who live next door, resulting in a safer environment. This is demonstrated by Neighbourhood Watch, a voluntary crime prevention movement that brings neighbours together to share information about local safety issues, assist in emergencies, and address transgressions.

Neighbourhood activities contribute not only to collective well-being but also help reduce loneliness, particularly among retirees, the elderly, and isolated individuals. These gatherings also provide opportunities to discuss and take action on local matters and projects, like cleaning up parks or maintaining vegetable gardens (as my French friend in Yutz does).

As Ben has observed, their gatherings have created a support system where neighbours can offer help, advice, or assistance, especially during difficult times. He said, “Being good neighbours is key when new inhabitants arrive in town. It was the case for us 15 years ago when we received gifts from neighbours. We were even invited to our street party two months before we moved into our newly finished house. It also helps to establish roots, as the majority of Tontel residents come from other parts of Belgium or even from further afield. One of the newest arrivals is a lady from Quebec who moved to Tontelange after 20 years in Luxembourg. She told me last week that she feels like she’s back home 😊.”

Local gatherings can also serve as professional networking opportunities, as they have done for me. I got my first European work experience through the mother of a secondary student at my son’s school. As volunteers, we were stuffing election ballots for the Parents-Teachers Association when she noticed I was speaking only English to my toddler. The rest is history.

For Ben and his friends, these neighbourhood gatherings are not only enjoyable but offer a refreshing break from their usual family and professional routines.

Have you invited newcomers in your neighbourhood for snacks or meals?

Are there enough opportunities in your town or city for people to get involved in neighbourhood or community projects? If we want more participation, we need to create more varied activities and spend time addressing barriers to involvement (e.g., busy schedules, the cost of entertaining, etc.).

“There is no power for change greater than a community discovering what it cares about.” – Margaret J. Wheatley (American author and teacher)

Marie-Pierre, a former student who has become a writing pal, recently gifted me a book, Le Secret de Noël (The Secret of Christmas), a collection of 50 short stories, including hers (“Secret Santa”). Guess who’s the Secret Santa? A neighbour!

In closing, I wish you and your loved ones peace, good health, and joy throughout 2025. Take care.

Are you a toxic optimist?

Societal Issues

Recently, someone asked me why I am “always optimistic when some glasses are obviously half empty?” My belief in the silver lining can be uplifting for some people but suffocating for others, yet I am consistently positive. Perhaps it is my birth sign. Those who fancy astrology and horoscope would tell you that a Taurian is stable and determined.

An optimist says, “The glass is half full.”

A pessimist says, “The glass is half empty.”

An optometrist says, “You both need glasses.”

(https://upjoke.com/optimist-jokes)

A positive outlook on life is beneficial for our mental and emotional wellbeing. However, life isn’t always rosy. There are unpleasant events and people that cause us to be sad or angry. Denying ourselves of this sadness can stagnate growth, as it deprives us of the opportunity to face and deal with challenging situations and feelings. Sugarcoating a harsh reality has downsides.

When family and friends are experiencing severe difficulty or even trauma, we can’t tell them to look at the bright side of life. This is because such expression of optimism can be toxic, as it may divert us from the real concerns and issues. Whereas dealing wisely with negative emotions, such as disappointment and stress, can lead to changes that can result in a better situation.

Positive words and deeds that shine externally inspire people. However, pushing optimism into someone’s sore throat is a different thing. It is toxic optimism. For example, when people hold out a hand to us, it means that they are crying for help and don’t need to be told that other humans are experiencing worse.

Empathy is the magic word – the ability to understand and share the feelings of others – i.e. compassion and care. How? Firstly, by being a good listener. While doing so, we should avoid assumptions and judgment. Then, be ready to offer support and help, which may be in the form of advice, goods or services, but only after you have heard all sides of the story.