Where do you come from?

1st July 2023culture, immigration and multiculturalismrolade

“Where do you come from” is a phrase that gives me goose pimples. I have answered this question more than a hundred times and expect to encounter the same query at any moment. Do they mean where I was born, where I have studied, worked and lived, where I have immigrated, or where I feel I belong?

It’s summertime in Europe, the holiday season. “Where do you come from” is one of the most uttered questions, from tourism staff who need your answer for statistical purposes to curious strangers because of your look or accent.

(I was trying to learn English and I was very worried about my accent. I’m sure I’ll always have it but I remember Tom Hanks said to me, “Don’t lose the accent. If you do, you’re lost.” Antonio Banderas (sic) (https://www.ef.co.uk/english-resources/english-quotes/language/).

Physical attributes (i.e. your look) and accents are used as categorisation factors of ethnicity. The latter is based on skin colour, hair texture, facial features, and other physical characteristics. The Iowa University Digital Press’s article on Dress, Appearance, and Diversity in US Society (https://iastate.pressbooks.pub/dressappearancediversity/chapter/race-and-ethnicity/) discusses this subject, which – although it has an American perspective – resonates globally.

Not long ago, I heard a fellow bus passenger saying, “I look Indian, but I’m not; I’m South African”.

Research has been done on physical characteristics concerning “racism”. In comparison, accents have received less research interest. Several studies and anecdotes have shown how people with a nonstandard or “non-native” accent are perceived as less competent or of lower socio-economic status.

An accent is different from a dialect. An accent is a sound we produce when we speak; thus, we all have an accent, which is our identity and a clue to group membership, whereas a dialect includes grammar, spelling, and vocabulary differences.

How about if your look doesn’t match your accent; is it all right to ask, “Where do you come from?” Grammatically, this question is correct. It’s also socially and politically correct if it is asked by tourism staff to improve their services. However, there are situations in which this question can be understood to imply that the person you are asking is a foreigner and doesn’t belong in the country. For instance, children of immigrants in Australia and Canada and Asian-Americans (born and raised in the US and speak only English) might take umbrage when keep getting asked, “Where do you come from?” as this assumes that they aren’t citizens of their countries and are from somewhere else.

Hence, think twice before asking someone (Where do you come from?) to avoid insulting them. Anyway, the person often brings it up without you having to ask when it is relevant to the conversation. I haven’t heard of someone getting offended when asked, “What’s your nationality”. People often take pride in answering this; I do. If we aren’t sure what and how to ask, then don’t.

“To effectively communicate, we must realise that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” Tony Robbins (American author, philanthropist, and business strategist). (realise – UK)

Reading is brain-picking; writing is formalised thinking

1st June 2023culture, personal and social development, societyrolade

Two weeks ago, I gave a talk on “The interplay between reading and writing in our global village” at the EU Inter-institutional Libraries’ event. We live in a global village (i.e. our world is a community connected by the Internet/computers, trade, entertainment, etc), so we share ways our social realities are formed and interpreted. The formation and interpretation happen through the stories we tell each other, stories we read and write.

Reading is a social activity. You might be alone, tucked under a cosy blanket next to a bedside lamp, but you look deeper into the author’s mind and subconsciously connect with other readers.

Writing connects us to ourselves, and it’s formalised thinking. As William Faulkner had said: “Read, read, read. Read everything — trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You’ll absorb it. Then write. If it’s good, you’ll find out. If it’s not, throw it out of the window.” (1897-1962, American writer and Nobel laureate).

We read what we like to write and write what we have read or want to read.

 When we read or write, we:
 exercise our brain,
 improve our focus,
 improve our memory,
 improve our ability to empathise,
 improve our communication skills,
 improve our mental health,
 gain knowledge and ideas, and 
 get entertained (reduce stress). 
 In short, we become better individuals and live longer.

One of the event organisers is a co-author of “Pour en finir avec la passion: l’abus en littérature” (To End the Passion: Abuse in Literature), which is about the evolution of cultural and literary conceptions of passion – love – in French society and questions why love remains inseparable from suffering.

One of the participants commented on the novel “Future Perfect”, which he had recently read, posing, “Has her past been erased by a mistaken computer click or simply shelved for no reason?” The main character’s resilience leads to encounters in Asia, America, and Europe that bring back memories of love and devotion half a century earlier. It has a global theme.

Our Words Matter

1st April 2023immigration and multiculturalism, language, Societal Issues, Values and Principlesrolade

On 23 March 2023, I was invited to speak at the European Parliament Directorate-General for Personnel’s hybrid event to observe the International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination. The theme was “Anti-Racism –Why words matter”.

Some of the things I said were:

Classifying individuals as English speakers and non-English speakers is inappropriate when based only on the language of the country they come from. They should be described as people with a “First Language Spoken Other Than English” and “First Language Spoken English”. If you want to refer to their spoken English proficiency, describe them as “Speaks English Very Well, Fluent, or Proficient, “Speaks English Well or Conversational”, “Basiс”, or “No English Language Skill”.

“Our, Their, Us, and Them” are pronouns that should be used wisely, as they can be polarising. They affect feelings, thoughts, and actions. Whereas, social cohesion reduces fear and prejudice.

Race is ascribed to individuals based on physical traits; it’s not their choice. Race is not the same as ethnicity, which the individual chooses, encompassing everything from language to nationality, culture and traditions, religion, and values.

Race has no coherent, fixed definition, and its myth hasn’t served humanity well.

We use “blacklist” for something negative or prohibited. Doesn’t this reinforce notions that black is undesirable while white is desirable? How about using “barredlist”, “denylist”, “blockedlist”, or “disallowedlist” instead?

Are there prejudicial and offensive words and phrases in your language?

“Gyp” or “Gip” is a short version of gypsy/gipsy- Slang for swindlers and cheaters. Dupe, rip off, take advantage, or trick
“Chop Chop!” sounds like you’re making fun of a Chinese speaking Pidgin English. Do it quickly
“Guru” – A spiritual guide or leader. In the Buddhist and Hindu traditions, “guru” commands respect and using it casually calls into question its original value.
Voodoo economics is used to describe supply-side economics (i.e. something based on unreal and impractical concepts). Voodoo is a religion practised in Haiti and parts of the Caribbean.
An immigrant is a human being; a human being cannot be illegal. Why not use “Individual/family/people with undocumented status”; or focus on the action, i.e. illegal entry?
“Alien” and “foreigner” suggest that the person does not belong to a particular place or group, i.e. a stranger or outsider. “Foreign-born people” tells you they were born in a country where they don’t currently reside.

Issues on ethnic slurs or racism in the workplace:

Is there psychological safety in the workplace?
No individual target; no one complains about it. (Someone may perceive this as such and become unproductive due to offended sensibilities).
An isolated incident may be repeated and can become a norm.
It’s only a joke/just for fun. Humour and jokes can poster or improve group cohesiveness. Laughing and smiling relieve anger, boredom, fatigue, frustration, and tension. However, when the workplace is inundated with such practices and management implicitly or explicitly condones them, making at least one employee uncomfortable, it has to stop. The bottom line is respecting the words and feelings of everyone.

Words matter! Language is the foundation of how we understand and treat each other. Words can make the difference between respecting and dehumanising each other.

Online Gatekeeping

1st March 2023immigration and multiculturalism, personal and social development, Societal Issues, society, Values and Principlesrolade

Gatekeeping is a process of selecting and then filtering items that can be consumed within time or space. A gatekeeper is a person who controls access to something; in Facebook groups, this can be an administrator or moderator.

I’m writing this because I posted a message on our FB book club two weeks ago about a culture and immigration festival that included book exhibitions, reading novels’ first pages, etc. After the event, I contacted the administrator enquiring why it wasn’t approved. She apologised and explained that it’s pending (not disallowed) because she’s busy managing other activities and suggested emailing her directly when I have a post.

Gatekeeping has pluses and minuses. Unrelevant and offensive messages are filtered out. On the other hand, it’s toxic when it bars people from participating in a group or community or discussion based on narrow criteria or questionable reasons.

Why and how do administrators and moderators have this gatekeeping power?

Administrators appoint or remove a moderator, manage group settings (such as changing the group name or settings), approve or deny membership and participants’ requests, approve or reject posts, delete comments on posts, ban people from the group, and pin or unpin a post (i.e. positioning – e.g. move to the top of the page.)

Moderators approve or deny membership and participants’ requests, approve or deny posts, remove comments, and ban people from the group.

Do administrators and moderators own the group when they have started or created it?

How can we ensure administrators and moderators don’t use the group for their sole gain?

“The words of the tongue should have three gatekeepers: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?” – Arabian Proverb

My pending, obsolete post is history. However, the success of the festival – organised by the Comité de Liaison des Associations d’Étrangers ( CLAE) and one of Luxembourg’s most important annual events – lingers on. There were about 30,000 visitors to its 400 stands.

AI and Me

1st February 2023Career and employment, language, personal and social development, Societal Issues, Values and Principlesrolade

Last week, while fine-tuning my manuscript for publication, doubts clouded my mind. There has been a flood of articles and buzz about artificial intelligence (AI) ChatGPT, including its use for writing and content development. Is there a need for a “Clear and Concise Writing” book? Did I waste my time drafting this? Shall I spend more time getting it published?

The use of AI has advantages and flaws. It can save time and money, reduce errors and increase accuracy, hide one’s lack of competence, and enthuse laziness.

AI “ChatGPT does not have the ability to search the internet for information and rather, uses the information it learned from training data to generate a response, which leaves room for error”. – Ortiz, 2022 (https://www.zdnet.com/article/what-is-chatgpt-and-why-does-it-matter-heres-what-you-need-to-know/).

“As a language model, ChatGPT is not a traditional source that would typically be included in a bibliography. Instead, you can acknowledge the use of the model in the text and a note or a disclaimer. For example, you can add a statement like “This document was generated with the help of ChatGPT, a large language model developed by OpenAI. It’s important to note that ChatGPT is a tool, it does not conduct original research, it only provides the information it was trained on, and it’s not an author”. – ChatGPT by OpenAI accessed on 20/01/2023.

Out of curiosity, I logged in on 22/01/23. This is what it gave me: “Write an acrostic poem about the status of ChatGPT.
C: ChatGPT is currently down
H: Huge demand has caused the site to crash
A: All users will have to wait
T: Time is needed for the servers to catch up
G: Go grab a coffee and check back soon
P: Patience is key in this situation
T: Trust that the team is working hard to fix it up”.

English physicist Stephen William Hawking (1942-2018), famous for his theories on relativity and quantum mechanics, had said: “The primitive forms of artificial intelligence we already have, have proved very useful. But I think the development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race.” (Cellan-Jones, https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-30290540. Seen on 23/01/23).

Two days ago, I received an email from one of my students that included these encouraging words: “I’ve been thinking about the question you raised earlier about whether you should publish the book or not. I hope you will, and human beings will always do. You (human authors in general) write books, and AI generates them. I don’t care how good an AI-generated book may/will be one day. I like knowing that there’s someone feeling something while writing the book that makes me feel something when reading it”.

I have subtitled my book “Self-confidence and not software -dependence”.

Three lessons learnt before 2022 ended

1st January 2023culture, New Year, personal and social development, Societal Issuesrolade

Cheer for 2023! Wishing you a better year

We have just been through the season of giving and receiving. Like most of you, I gave and received. For a change, I ordered groceries – as a present to one family member – from a company whose website promises a one-day delivery. To date, these groceries have not been delivered. Until now, they have not responded to my half a dozen emails. After three phone calls, a man answered the phone and said they wouldn’t deliver and could only refund me if I gave them a UK bank account, which I refused.

Lesson 1. Stick to a proven or reputable company. (Seek redress. I have contacted Customer Service Coventry & Visa Worldline and am waiting for their responses).

We’ve been receiving parcels from Australia for many years. For the first time last December, we had to pay 20 euros as Value Added Tax (VAT) on a gift that cost 100 euros. I was surprised, so I visited https://www.douane.gouv.fr/fiche/recevoir-un-colis-envoye-par-un-particulier. This is what I found out:

In the case of non-commercial mailings between individuals, VAT and customs duties may be requested upon receipt of the package. These shipments must be occasional, concern goods reserved for the personal or family use of the recipients only and sent without payment of any kind. To benefit from customs duties and taxes exemption, the goods’ intrinsic value (excluding transport and insurance costs) must not exceed a certain threshold. These value requirements also apply to gifts: No customs duties from/to the EU (VAT has already been paid in the EU country of origin); Import from a non-EU country to an EU country or to an overseas department (example: Canada to France) ≤ 45 euros – no customs duties and VAT (> 45 euros – customs duties and VAT are due). Exchanges between the EU to their overseas territories “DOM” ≤ 205 euros – no taxation and customs duties (> 205 euros -overseas taxes and VAT are due).

Lesson 2. I should not have told my Aussie family not to send us presents by post anymore, taking their joy from giving. We’re grateful for their kindness.

On December 15, I left our end-of-year party early to be home at 10 pm. After 15 minutes of waiting for the tram, my gut feeling told me it wasn’t coming. I decided to walk and jog for 20 minutes (in high-heeled boots!) to catch my bus home at 9:14 pm. I reached the bus stop, sweating at six °C, and got on in time. I would have arrived home after midnight, instead of 10:30 pm, if I had stayed longer at the tram station.

Lesson 3. Always react promptly to the unexpected and changes.

“If you can’t change your fate, change your attitude.”– Amy Ruth Tan (American author of the novel “The Joy Luck Club”, which was adapted into a film of the same name).

Quiet quitting and quiet firing aren’t the solutions

1st December 2022Career and employment, Employment, Societal Issuesworkplacerolade

“I call it a day; see you tomorrow”.
“It’s only 5:30, Paul. Aren’t you waiting for a phone call from Ms Willers”?
“She said at five; it’s 5:30.”
In a soft voice, Rosie asked, “Are you a quiet quitter, Paul”?

Quiet quitting is one of the 2022 buzz phrases that have varied meanings. It can refer to doing what you are only paid for (i.e. what is stated in your job description) and not “going and beyond” in favour of work-life balance. It can include losing motivation due to work dissatisfaction. It can be a minimum performance as there’s no ambition for career advancement. It can be a strategy to get retrenched and be eligible for unemployment benefits. (In France, those who resign can only receive unemployment payments if the official employment committee approves their substantive career change plan).

Quiet quitting has attracted supporters from the proponents of better work-life balance, principally citing the prevention of burnout and mental illness. However, it can have adverse effects. It can cause disengagement and loss of pride in what you do. It can create a negative work atmosphere; imagine having colleagues who work less for the same salary as yours. Then, there’ll be a domino effect – others will practise quiet quitting too. Consequently, there’ll be less productivity, less clientele, less job, more competition, more pressure, and so on. There are occupations, such as in the medical field, when quiet quitting doesn’t work at all.

You can emotionally invest at work without sacrificing your personal life by maintaining healthy boundaries between them. There’s no need for quiet quitting. There must be open communication between company management and employees. Listening to the personnel’s views and opinions, regardless of their position in the organisation, is inclusion and respect, leading to a feeling of belongingness, loyalty, and productivity.

The opposite of quiet quitting is quiet firing. Quiet firing is when a management fashions work conditions that cause an employee to resign. These include non-invitation to staff meetings and functions, deprivation of promotion and salary increase, overloading with urgent work, and non-allocation of tasks. This is a non-confrontational approach to force employees to leave the company without disbursing severance pay. Like quiet quitting, it has its downsides; it builds a toxic work environment.

Our triumph should not be someone’s defeat or misery. However difficult the situation is, the best result is always obtained with the least conflict. Thus, we should go for a “win-win” rather than a “winner takes it all” mentality.

By the way, as promised in my previous blog, here are the things I have already prepared as Christmas presents — books, a hand-written and framed short story, and a photo album. Food hampers and fruit baskets are also on my list.

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Where do you come from?