Tag Archives: Communictaion

Reaching Out Is Part of Moving Forward

Gifting, Giving, personal and social development, Societal Issues, Values and Principles, , ,

We often hear about the importance of kindness: helping others, offering support, and encouraging those around us. What about being on the receiving end? Is asking for kindness or help a sign of weakness or failure? Or is it, instead, a sign of self-awareness and determination?

I believe that when people ask for help, they acknowledge their limits and show a willingness to learn, grow, and improve. Seeking advice, assistance, or mentorship can save time and resources, prevent unnecessary mistakes, and open us to new perspectives. Asking for help, whether in our careers or personal lives, is not only acceptable, it’s wise. No one succeeds entirely on their own. Every achievement is shaped, in some way, by guidance, support, and shared knowledge, even if that help remains unseen.

Progress in any field is often the result of collaboration, cooperation, and mutual support. Asking questions, learning from those with more experience, or accepting help during difficult moments allows us to move forward with more confidence and humility. Many people are willing to help; sometimes they are simply waiting to be asked.

I’ve seen this courage to ask firsthand. In France, NGO workers, who’re immaculately polite and relentlessly cheerful, stop strangers in the street to ask for donations for charitable and environmental causes. Watching them, I’ve wondered whether the confidence to ask is culturally conditioned or deeply personal. We tend to applaud this kind of public boldness, yet hesitate when the request is our own.

When I lived in Brisbane, I went door-to-door collecting money for the Australian Red Cross without a second thought. Yet, I’ve never asked a single family member or friend to buy any of my books; doing so makes me uncomfortable. I do know that three of them bought copies without my prompting. I’ve seen authors’ posts on Facebook about selling 50 or even 100 copies to friends and their social networks. It makes me wonder: did those friends buy the books out of genuine interest, or simply out of kindness?

So, how willing are you to ask for support with your professional ambitions or the passions that matter most to you?

The politics of the English language

Societal Issues,

Last month, I was in Ireland for a chill-out week. After visiting museums, gardens, churches, and Trinity College, I took a pre-dawn bus for Galway and the Cliffs of Moher. The memorable trip to the latter, with its rugged beauty and birdlife, was almost matched by the cultural entertainment of the driver that included Irish songs and tales. He was a former history teacher and reminded us that English is actually a colonial language.

Under the British rule, Irish-Gaelic wasn’t taught in school; it was actually prohibited. The first time I heard about the EU Court of Justice’s decision to employ Irish-Gaelic translators and interpreters, I thought it was a waste of money because Irish people speak English. I now understand why and rightly so.

Mahatma Gandhi had said that “To give millions the knowledge of English is to enslave them.” He believed that the British colonial education subjugated the Indians. However, presently, Indians show pride in their English cultivated during British rule. Similarly, Filipinos, who were colonised by the Spaniards for 333 years and by the Americans for 48 years, have developed affection for Spanish and English. Nowadays, toddlers in the Philippines learn English words before their dialects.

English is one of the most widely spoken languages in the world; approximately 1.5 billion, including around 370 million “native speakers”.  (The term “native speaker” is generally accepted in linguistics and language teaching to refer to someone who has spoken a language from early childhood. However, it can be seen as politically incorrect or exclusionary because dictionaries define “native” as relating to a person’s country or place of birth or someone who was born in a particular country or place. Instead, more inclusive terms are “fluent speaker”, “proficient user”, or simply specifying the context, like “first language speaker” or “language used at home”).

English is the official language in about 60 countries (i.e. the language or one of the languages that is accepted by a country’s government, is taught in schools, used in the courts of law, etc.), which is around 30% of the world’s total. This includes Australia, Barbados, Canada, Jamaica, India (co-official with Hindi and several other languages), Ireland, Malta, New Zealand, Nigeria, Philippines (co-official with Tagalog), Singapore (one of the four official languages), South Africa (alongside 10 other languages), The United States, The United Kingdom, and Trinidad and Tobago. If we include those that have English as an official language by de facto (not recognised by law), this increases to 75 countries (39%).

English is often the primary language of international business, with many multinational companies use it as their working language. It is the dominant language in scientific research and academic publications. At least 30% of Internet content is in English and a substantial proportion of films, music, and books is produced in this language, contributing to its influence, spread, and weight.

“English is not owned by anyone. It is a global language, and its future lies in the hands of its speakers.” – Linguist David Crystal.

We – users from many cultures and identities – shape the English language. Still, our grammar, spelling, sentence structure, and choice of words represent us in whatever we do. Poor usage of the English language harms our credibility and makes us appear inattentive.

I wish you a festive end-of-the-year celebration!

Compliments and the magic phrase

Societal Issues

Has your supervisor said to you, “Well done”, “Fantastic work”, or “Keep up the good work”? What did you say in return?

A mere “Thank you” – the magic phrase –  is enough to show that we appreciate the compliment. Complimenting is not and should not be a one-way street. Some employees complain that their managers do not praise them, but do these staff members give their bosses compliments?

These are some compliments I have heard and read:

You are really good at what you do.

We appreciate your optimism and “can do” attitude.

We enjoyed your contribution during the staff meeting.

You gave an excellent presentation.

You are an indispensable member of our team.

You are a reliable boss.

You are a considerate supervisor.

You are a dedicated employee.

You always perform well, even under pressure.

I enjoy working with you.

Some people find it easier to give than receive compliments. Last year, a French friend commented: “I can’t believe it; I read a novel in English, the first novel in English. It took me only two weeks. You’re a great storyteller”. I shrugged my shoulders and said, “It was a six-month COVID lockdown manuscript. I could have written it better”. Of course, there’s always room for improvement, but I put myself down with that response. I should have simply told her that I appreciated her compliment. After all, didn’t I deserve it?

Being suspicious about a compliment is unproductive and causes misunderstanding. Meanwhile, if insecure and devilish humans give you insincere compliments (bordering sarcasm), be upfront and ask them what they really want to discuss with you.

Three weeks ago, I received a text from someone I didn’t know personally, who is in our Whatsapp Ex-UQ/Bne Lunch Grp, that he had bought a copy of my latest book English Language Lovers and would submit an Amazon review. Many authors find this revelation “not a biggy”, but it’s for me. I consider this a compliment, so I thanked him right away.  

I don’t know about you, but I like giving and receiving compliments when they are due because they make people feel good. A compliment can brighten a day, motivate, and instil confidence and trust. During my lessons and encounters with new acquaintances, I use compliments to break the ice. These are sincere compliments and not done haphazardly. Fake compliments are easy to spot.

Often, I get positive responses to my compliments: “Thanks, that’s nice of you. You came up with helpful ideas, too”; “Thanks, that’s kind of you”; “Thanks for noticing it”; “Thanks for liking it”; and “I appreciate that, have a nice day”.

Let’s continue giving and receiving sincere compliments; these are free and improve performance and relationships.